I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
