I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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