btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
