i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
