So drunk its hurt
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
