I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
