I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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