Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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