i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
