hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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