He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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