Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
