OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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