Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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