Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
