jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
North Korea, Best Korea!
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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