why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
