Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
