Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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