Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
