Don't you send me to vm
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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