i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
