I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
My penis needs a shock collar
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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