i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize