The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
