He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize