Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
