It's Friday. Sex?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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