3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
