she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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