Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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