The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
it's great music for shaving your balls
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
