you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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