I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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