I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You dont lie about slip and slides
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
