he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
