SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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