I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
