Are we in a gay sports bar?
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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