put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
