I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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