Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
