What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
