I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
