Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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