Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize