What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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