he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
