i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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