Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize