This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
