I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
birth control should be required to get into college
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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