Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
