handjob tips. give me some.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
