bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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