There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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