yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
