think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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