3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
