Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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