Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
dude i'm inner monologue high
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
